All We Need is Love

All We Need is Love
by David Kaplan

I was the youngest guy in my high school class. I never felt that I fit in with any particular crowd in high school, yet I never felt excluded by anyone. I was peripheral. I stayed at the edge. I was never 100% immersed. It wasn’t until decades later, with the advent of the internet and a class website, that I heard others narrate stories of my teenage life. Apparently, I had more fun than I remembered. I only have two friends from that time. Three if we count the summer camp friend who literally texted me as I’m writing this.

I went to college and three more lasting friendships came from that time in my life. I dropped out of college and crisscrossed America by thumb and by VW van. Five years after I graduated high school, I was living on a commune in southern Oregon. A core group became my second family for decades, long after I moved away. One of them, my friend, David, died of a heart attack on a bicycle ride five years ago. When I went back for his memorial, I had extended my visit to stay with multiple friends. With David gone, I didn’t stay in touch with my commune family as much as I could have. I was with Tommy when he picked up a girl in a bar in 1972. We went to play pinball and have a beer. I got left at the pinball machines. Tommy and Susan got married and were together for forty-eight years until Tommy died from congestive heart failure with Covid-19, just eight days after David died. I stayed at each of their homes on motorcycle rides ten years ago. I still miss their advice and humor. My third college friend is alive and well and I saw him in Wisconsin after the FJMC convention last year.

Raising kids brought me into community with neighbors and parents of my kids’ friends. When my marriage dissolved, I moved only three and half miles away, but apparently, I ceased to exist. The one friend who stayed in touch moved to Florida.

A lot of my temple friends were friends because of circumstance. I was an officer of the congregation but I stepped back to put my energy into our men’s club. The planning, execution and participation in our activities gave me a framework to get to know men at a level I would not otherwise have had. I ran into one of those guys on a walk today. The twenty minutes we talked were the highlight of my day.

By the end of 2001, I was on the team developing, facilitating and training for the FJMC Keruv interfaith initiative. That work created connections which define friendship; guys who’ve got my back. Guys who told me to stop by for coffee when I’d go to NYC and meant it, or invited me to stay the night.

During the Covid lockdown, I was sitting at my desk in my home office and thinking about how much I might enjoy becoming a hermit, hunkering down with my wife as my only companion. That thought
scared the daylights out of me so I made the effort to pick up the phone and not lose my lifelines to friends.

In this scattered essay I referenced nine people, who have been the best of friends. I’m fortunate to have had them in my life. I’m very aware how important it is as we get age, and as our worlds naturally contract, to both stay in touch and to continue to make new connections. Thanks to my FJMC involvement, I came in from the periphery. I have strong friendships throughout North America. Our FJMC community provides the framework to create and maintain friendships. This is so essential, especially as we age. I for one am thankful for that.

Written by David Kaplan

“All We Need Is Love” published in the June 2026 Edition of Health & Wellness, L’chaim.