The Friends We Keep: A Hearing Men’s Voices Program

Introductory Comments

Today we’re talking about friendship, something that becomes more important as we age, yet often harder to maintain. For many men, friendships begin naturally in childhood. You lived near each other, played on the same team, worked together, or simply happened to be in the same place at the same time. But adulthood changes the equation. Careers, marriage, parenting, stress, distance, health issues, and simple busyness can slowly narrow our circles without us even noticing.

At the same time, research consistently shows that strong friendships are one of the most important predictors of emotional wellbeing, resilience, physical health, and even longevity. Men with close social connections tend to cope better with stress, recover more effectively from hardship, and experience less isolation and depression.

Many men still struggle to talk openly about friendship. We often discuss work, sports, politics, or current events, but not always the deeper questions. Jewish tradition places enormous value on friendship and companionship. Pirkei Avot teaches: “Acquire for yourself a friend.” Not just “have” a friend — acquire one. Build it. Invest in it. Protect it. Friendship is treated not as something accidental, but as something to invest in and hold sacred.

Our discussion today is an opportunity to reflect honestly on the friendships that have shaped us, the ones we may have lost, the ones we still value deeply, and the kind of friend we hope to become moving forward. As always, share only what feels comfortable and speak from your own experience. What is said here, stays here and be sure to respect others in the group at all times by listening and not judging.