My Interfaith Marriage Journey with the Conservative/Masorti Movement

When my wife and I married nearly 25 years ago, I assumed we would find a synagogue where we could build our Jewish life together. I loved the Conservative traditions I had grown up with and wanted to share them with my new family.

At the first Conservative synagogue we tried, the rabbi made it clear, from the pulpit and directly to us, that we were not welcome. A Reform synagogue was warm and friendly, but not for us. Still, I believed there was a place for us. We just had to find it.

That search gave me a cause: helping interfaith families find the welcome we had struggled to receive. I became deeply involved in the FJMC’s Keruv initiative and ultimately served as its Chair. Over two decades, through Keruv and service on my synagogue’s board, I helped our congregation—and dozens more—open their doors to interfaith families.

I became President of our growing shul. Our children grew up feeling part of the community. My wife built a successful kosher catering business serving multiple synagogues. We had built the Jewish life I had imagined. I believed our experience could help other families do the same.

But acceptance has never followed a straight path.

Fifteen years ago, we worked to extend family membership to interfaith households. A strong majority supported the change, but some vehemently opposed it. Two years ago, we revised our bylaws so all adult members, including non-Jewish members, could participate in leadership. Again, most supported the change, but some hurled insults at my wife and me. These were people with whom we had prayed, celebrated, and built a community. Their words hurt.

Movement leadership has been largely indifferent at best and unsupportive at other times. Even the recent teshuvah on blessing an interfaith family’s Jewish home left my family excluded.

I attended Jewish day school. We raised two Jewish children in a Conservative home. I led our synagogue. My wife has devoted thousands of hours to serving the Jewish community. Yet a Christmas tree she decorates to honor her mother, who died prematurely from cancer, could stand between our family and a blessing.

After decades of working for inclusion, our Jewish life still seemed to be measured by what disqualified us.

Much of my early optimism has given way to anger and frustration. My relationship with the Conservative/Masorti Movement has changed, but I still care deeply about its future. And I remain an optimist.

I have watched our children grow up knowing they belonged and my wife helps sustain Jewish communal life. Those experiences give me reasons to keep going.

Progress has never been led by the Movement’s governing bodies. It has come from members and local rabbis willing to listen and lead. Under Rabbi Charles Simon’s leadership, the FJMC helped many congregations move toward inclusion. Hearing that our Men’s Clubs want to prioritize this work again gives me renewed hope.

My personal Keruv goal remains simple: every interfaith family entering a Conservative/Masorti shul should feel comfortable, welcomed, and fully part of the Jewish community.

Nearly 25 years ago, I believed there was a place for my family in the Conservative/Masorti Movement. Today, I know how much work making that place can require. I also know what a welcoming community makes possible.

I want the next young couple to walk through those doors with the hope we carried—and find a community ready to welcome them.